020: Frustration Going Up To The Max

Photo by =asesinatuya

Life is not the way it used to be. Expectations running high. It won't stop running. I've been giving chase, leaving people around me. Then I find myself in a place where nothing else matters at all. Thought it was a place for me. I was definately wrong. But I just can't... I won't acknowledge it. I underestimate the risk. Overconfident. I hit and missed. Overconfidence.

So I went back, to people I have left behind. I've been gone for far too long. Afraid that they won't remember me at all. Some of them still do surprisingly. But they are all up so high, and I'm still at the bottom. Ironically, they live up to their dreams and expectations by staying there, while I was running away, chasing. Was I supposed to come back with glory? Seems I went the wrong way.

Now I'm struggling. It's getting more difficult each passing day. Now nobody will even look at me. Why would they? I'm a piece of trash, waiting for the cleaner to sweep me up. But I won't let him. I'll have myself placed in the recycling bin.

They can just wait. I'm coming my way. I'll have them know. And I'll give them something... Something to hold on to so they will not make me scrape from the bottom of the deep hole. I'll expose myself, and all I've witheld will come up to the surface.